‘That’s it, I’ve decided!’ I thought to myself.
Having to go to work for a living work is a pain in the arse and really gets in the way of being a Dad.
Don’t get me wrong I am very fortunate in my job that I have a certain degree of flexibility. I am able to work from home regularly (although that carries its own trials and tribulations in terms of productivity) and when I am in the local office I can get back for bath time and be around more than if I was office based all the time.
However this doesn’t negate the fact that I might be there in person but my mind is else where. Since entering the world of Daddy blogging I have come to understand this as being ‘Present’ both in body and mind.
You see I find it difficult to switch off from the hustle and bustle of my job and enjoy being there with my kids when I get home after a busy day. Worrying about whether ‘so and so’, will have done ‘blah blah’, so that ‘what’s his name’ can move up the ‘greasy pole’ really doesn’t inspire me, in fact I detest it!
I really struggle with the whole work-life balancing act. I have always been very ambitious and have come to realise that corporate ambition and wanting to be a present and involved father just don’t go well together.
As I often say the Holy Grail for me in life is to be the best Dad I can be, so that when my kids are older I can honestly say to myself I gave it my best shot. And having a reasonably taxing job is really proving a nuisance to me feeling that I am being true to myself in terms of being a hands on Dad.
‘Just quit your job’ I hear you say!
Well that’s the long term plan but at the moment I am blessed with the poisoned chalice of having the earning power that enables High Command to be at home with the kids full time and to provide us with a comfortable lifestyle.
Having one of us at home with the kids when they are young is very important to us and something that we hope will play a key role in providing a foundation on which the kids can build on as they grow up.
But all the rationale of the above doesn’t change the fact that some nights, when I have had a particularly taxing day at work, the last thing I want to do is come home to a war zone and play the peace keeper.
No harsh reflection on High Command but our house resembles a bomb site (which to someone who suffers from OCD is bad enough) but its the fact that No 1 and No 2 resemble creatures out of some 1980′s horror film that I particularly struggle with.
Gone are the sweet and polite girls that I meet of a morning and replaced with these rabid animals who there is just no reasoning with!
I mean I negotiate things somewhat successfully on a daily basis at work but within 17 seconds of walking through the front door I have been dragged down to their level and find myself in hostile negotiations ranging from ‘No 2 has stolen my teddy Daddy and I think she should go on the naughty step’ to ‘Daddy can you come here and wipe my bum please because I don’t want to’.
I call it the ‘Witching Hour’ (or 3) where those beautiful children are replaced by these hideous things that are hell bent on reducing me to a quivering wreck.
Anyway where was I? Ah thats right working for a living.
You see I had grand plans to make my millions before kids came along so that I could be a full time dad and live off my portfolio of investments etc etc. Unfortunately it didn’t turn out quite like that hence the need for me to keep working.
One thing I am concious of is that No 1 and No 2 wont be small for ever and will soon be sucked in to the schooling system and the opportunity to be at home with them when it matters most will be lost to some degree.
As a first step I am toying with the idea of exploring flexible working, such as having one day off a week, and need to do some more research into this. One of the reasons I havn’t pursued this further is that I am worried about what my boss will say. She is a perfectly reasonable person but I have got it into my head that she is a career women who never had kids and therefore will frown upon me wishing to spend time with my kids.
That and I wouldn’t know where to start in terms of condensing my week down as I don’t have any structure in my role with each week being very different. Perhaps I just need to man up, grow some balls and start the discussion with my boss and see where it leads me…….
Anyway I feel better after writing this and would love to hear people’s comments on how they manage their work and parenting
This blog post was also published on the dadzclub website here
I am a 35 year old chap whose life just over three and a half years ago changed forever – I became a Dad! Parenting for me is the final frontier in terms of the life challenges and the one that I really want to succeed at above all others. I am married to my beautiful, supportive (and very patient) wife High Command, and together with our 6 year old chocolate labrador called Millie who is as mad as a box of frogs, I am also the proud owner of two daughters No 1 (aged 3 and a half) and No 3 (aged 1 and a half) with the final addition due in March of next year……….so to say I have my hands full would be an understatement. I decided to start my blog to share some of the helpful hints and tips I have picked over the past couple of years on my quest to be the best parent I can be.