’11 Things That Are No Longer Sacred As A Parent’

‘Its going to be a long day…..’ the text from High Command read. As I looked at the accompanying photo of the rice crispy carnage, I breathed out a sigh of relief from the saftey of my office!!!


It’s a Saturday morning and I am on early morning duty whilst High Command has a lie in.

It’s the least I can do given she is bearing the brunt of the night feeds breast feeding Pumpkin.

In fact even me saying the above suggests I am in some way helping at night when in actual fact I am blissfully asleep with my butt ear plugs in.

Anyway I am digressing.

It’s the weekend.

It’s 7.15am.

I am standing guard over my two ferral girls eating breakfast (Poppet (4.5yo) and Dumpling (2.5yo) so that they don’t hack each other to death with their Ikea cutlery.

You see with the arrival of newborn No3 14 weeks ago time has been a premium and blogging has been low on the agenda.

Some might say I have lost my blogging mojo!

Others might say that sleep deprivation is a form of torture and to Chill Winston ….my blogging mojo will return.

Well I do have some ‘chill out time’ pencilled in for 2036 when the last of my girls reach adulthood and they have found some unsuspecting victim partner to share the rest of their life with!!!

Anyway with my recent attendance at BritMumsLive I have been rejuvenated :-)

As usual I digresss so back to what this post is actually about.

I have woken up with a mischievious glint in my eye so without further ado here are my Top 11 things that are no longer sacred since becoming a parent:

– A poo in peace. To just have five minutes without being clambered all over is the stuff of dreams!

– A good nights sleep – you could sleep a small family in the bags under my eyes.

– A social life that doesn’t revolve around children. You know the opportunity to partake in an adult conversation that doesn’t include talking about which nappies are the latest must have brand

– Being able to dress in my suit for work in the morning, and make it out of the front door, without being covered in some sort of baby/toddler slobber

– My prize pretunias, and any other flowers for that matter, not being plucked within an inch of their life for a special potion…

– The days of having a fast car are over. It’s all about functionality these days. *Que forlorn look at the minibus people carrier sitting on the drive*

– A lie in – need I say more!!

– High Command’s breast feeding bangers which I have to share Pumpkin

– The shoulders on my clothes always being covered in puke/dribble/slobber

– The contents of any draw that are within reach of the skidlets and are constantly emptied out onto the floor

– A lounge that is not filled with ikea storage units and millions of brightly coloured kids toys

I could go on but that would just be moaning 😉

What things are no longer sacred to you now that you are a parent?

As always would love to read your comments?

About Tom @Ideas4Dads (AndMumsToo!)

I am a 35-year old chap whose life just over four years ago changed forever – I became a Dad! I enjoy blogging about my family’s exploits with a humorous slant on things and I must admit I have a mischievous sense of humour and enjoy making my readers chuckle. Readers of my blog, which are both Dads and Mums, say they love the self deprecating humour interwoven with glimmers of useful advice and appreciate the ray of sunshine it brings to them. Although Daddy Bloggers are considered small fish in a very large Mummy Blogger pond, many Mums love reading my blog and even forward them on to their other halves :-)
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14 Responses to ’11 Things That Are No Longer Sacred As A Parent’

  1. I couldn’t agree more. The bathroom, my make up drawer (3yr old daughter), the flower beds, my bed, my boobs (18wk old daughter), whatever I am eating which leads to secret eating straight from the fridge to name just a few!

  2. I can’t walk without stepping on one of Damien’s blasted toy cars! I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be able to walk across the floor without muttering expletives (under my breath o’ course) because I’ve stumped my toe on Lightning McQueen for the umpteenth time!
    As for chill out time…
    Forget it!
    You have kids, you lose your sanity. That’s just the way it is. :)
    Great post! You made I laugh ha ha 😉

  3. Daddyrog says:

    My specialized fsr xc mountain bike. Which has a trailgator and added wee ride bar for that added weight on my commute. Oh & the sweaty mess as I tow one and have another one in front making me cycle like a John Wayne pack horse cross.

    Anything that I eat being shared not just with high command for a bite, but two other scavenging mites ready to liberate the best bit of my food. Only for it to be rejected back into my hand mashed with saliva. :-)

  4. Dadwhoblogs says:

    I miss being able to play in my Xbox alone. I I try and play with them in the room I get buttons smashed and controls moved! Come to think of it they would probably be pretty good at Mortal Kombat!

  5. Oh how I nodded at each one of these points! Nothing is peaceful, my toothbrush gets used by my 6yo, my nail polishes have been raided, they want to open all my mail which I so enjoy doing! Unless I crazily decide on no3 I can look forward to 2029….

  6. Pinkoddy says:

    You know the good news is you will get some of those things back – the worry thing only gets worse when they get older. My oldest is currently 17 and I hate to think about when he leaves home and I have no control and he doesn’t have to tell me what’s going on.

    Great post – hope you get some sleep soon and congrats on number 3.

  7. Mari says:

    I miss lie-ins most of all and the arrival of summer and lighter mornings has shortened my sleep even more.
    Thanks for linking up to #MBPW

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